Reminiscing with Sharon

Rested all day today; I still have very little energy. Sharon called and we talked for a while, which was very nice!  =D I asked Sharon about the five types of love; she is definitely not a person who feels loved when people give her stuff, but she isn't sure what category she would be in.  Since I couldn't remember most of the categories, and she had not heard of it, I need to give her more info. She describes herself as "the hamster ball girl" referring to last week's facebook viral cartoon.  (Note to self: find that cartoon again.) She is definitely not comfortable being the center of attention! 

I asked her what she wants for her birthday; she wants either an itunes gift card or an amazon gift card, so she can get music and especially books for her brand-new iPad.  I also talked to her about me wanting a 60th birthday party, even if we end up doing it via Skype.  She saw that Jonathan and Sara got enough snow this morning to build a small snowman, whereas I got only a dusting.  Its amazing what a difference 20 minutes west of here can make! 

Sharon's favorite color is still blue, just as it was when she was little.  She remembered that she was given the little red chair, and Beth received the blue chair, when she was 4 and Beth was newly turned 3.  They ended up swapping chairs.  Thank goodness Beth's favorite color was red so they weren't fighting over the same chair! Sharon's favorite book before she was able to read independently was "The Shepherd's New Cloak"; after she could read on her own, it became the Chinese Fairy Tales book, which might actually be named Tales of a Chinese Grandmother, I am not sure.  That was as far as we got with the 10 questions; they had a birthday party to go to.  But while talking to Sharon, I remembered that Amanda's favorite book when she was little was "The Paper Bag Princess", so I will have to add that to Amanda's list.  

More good news is I think the ulcer on the roof of my mouth has finally healed up, hooray!  Celebrated with some popcorn tonight =)

Soaring after Years in a Cage

I went in for lab work, which wore me out and I got nothing else done today.  But tonight the lab test results were already back, and I found that a) the infection is gone, which is greatly encouraging; and b) there has been moderate loss of kidney function and the blood loss has left me rather anemic, which is why I tire so easily and am not bouncing back like I wish.  Fortunately, kidneys are pretty resilient and they will probably heal up with time and I will regain some strength and energy!

I am still thinking about yesterday.  From the time that Dan left up until this year, I have felt bad because I didn't have a "Valentine" (special similar-aged person of the opposite gender in my life) when Valentine's Day rolled around.  This year, I am so grateful for the special people who are in my life -- my immediate and extended family, my church family, my near and far away friends, excellent medical personnel who do the best they can to keep me as healthy as possible -- that I had a wonderful day even without a special similar-aged person of the opposite gender in my life.  Its like a heavy burden I have carried for so long I no longer noticed it was there has suddenly been lifted, and I feel like I am soaring after years in a cage!

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

Happy Valentine's Day! My visiting teacher Michelle Porter brought me a pretty bouquet of dyed daisies in bright cheerful colors this morning!  Each day I am feeling a little better.  I cleaned my kitchen and got out packing material for Sandra's package.  

After a nap, I scrapped a layout of Jo and Ammon building a snowman, then I practiced some techniques in Photoshop and added some papers and elements to the minikit I used for that layout.  The layout took me only an hour and a half (that is very fast for me!) and it was for a Gingerscraps challenge. A lot of their other challenges look like they wouldn't take too long either, but I don't have any other kits from that store.  The phone rang off the hook during the afternoon and early evening--I feel so loved!  It really was a good day.

I Scrapped a Layout!!

I worked nearly all day decluttering computer software on Tuesday, and wore myself out. Wednesday I slept most of the day, and when I finally woke up enough to do anything, I decided that I had earned a day off from decluttering, so I made a scrapbook layout about my Mom's 80th birthday instead. It took me many hours (I am the slowest scrapper in the world lol) but I am immensely pleased with it. A Drop of Awesome for me, for actually finishing a creative project, instead of just planning and thinking about it! After I declutter today, I am going to work on loading the layout onto my blog, then make one (or maybe more!) layout(s). I need to stay awake today, so I can sleep tonight.

Family Night Fun

Cambria Reading's family came over for Family Home Evening tonight!  We began planning this shortly before Christmas, when they came over to sing Christmas carols for me.  We had such a wonderful time that we couldn't wait to get together again!  All afternoon I kept checking the clock, "Is it 6 o'clock yet?"  I set the table buffet style; we were having ice cream with toppings, and popcorn to "fill out the corners" so no one would go to bed on a sugar high.  All of us ate our evening meal before getting together.

The doorbell rang precisely at 6 and the fun began!  Jonathan and James helped move furniture while Cambria vacuumed for me.  Emmalyn is walking now and I felt the floor was too dirty for her to be playing on.  (I have been spending more time in the wheelchair and it tracks in a lot of dirt!)  Nathan and the other kiddos took a walk outside while the cleaning went on, which didn't take very long.  I had washed the kitchen floor, but that took all the energy I had, and Cambria and I both wanted me to be able to enjoy their visit, not waste the precious energy on cleaning.  .

After opening with a prayer, everyone had a chance to select a song to sing.  We had such a good time singing!  Then James presented a wonderful lesson from "Come Unto Christ" on service.  The kids were good as gold, paying attention and participating.  Emmalyn, being the baby, really didn't participate, but she didn't get into trouble, either!  Her older brothers are experienced baby sitters, "heading her off at the pass" when she found some plant food and the telephone!  Daniel also had some trouble focusing but I thought he did very well for being only 3!  

Then we had ice cream with toppings and popcorn. (the others had popcorn, I stuck to just ice cream with maple syrup.) After cleanup, it was time to go, and there were hugs from everyone!  James is a real cuddlebug, I got 7 hugs from him before everyone got out the door!  I gave Mark and Jonathan a 550 piece dragon wizard puzzle, and all of the older children received a pez pack with a dispenser to share.  It was so much fun, I hated to see them go home!  I hope we will do it again very soon!

Drops of Awesome

My church's weekly newsletter had a link to this wonderful blog post called "Drops of Awesome".  Go here to read the entire post:
www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/

Every time you do something good, something kind, something productive, its a drop in your Bucket of Awesome. You don't lose drops for each misstep. You can only build. You can only fill.

I ate fresh fruit with my breakfast cereal. Drop of Awesome!
I sent a birthday card on time. Drop of Awesome!
I told Jonathan I loved him. Drop of Awesome!
I read my scriptures today. Drop of Awesome!
I had a critical thought about my Mom but I brushed it away and replaced it with one of love. Drop of Awesome!

All day long I chanted these words in my head.  When I started thinking about my life in terms of adding these little drops of Awesome for every tiny act of good, I found I was doing more and more of them because it was a lot more fun to do good when I was rewarded with joy, rather than beating myself up about every failure in my past.

By the end of the day, I realized something important.  If I was spending time on the phone with my Mom, really listening to her in the moment, then I was a good listener, regardless of the other times I had interrupted her or multi-tasked while she was talking over the past week.  If I engaged in sincere prayer with my Heavenly Father, really communing with Him and seeking to do His will, then I am a person who prays sincerely, regardless of how my prayers were (or weren't) yesterday.

As I added up those Drops of Awesome,  I found that in those moments I actually became the person I had always wanted to be.

Have you ever said any of these things: "I always fight with my mother and my sister. Our relationship is broken."  Or "I can't stop spending money. I will never be out of debt." "My house is always a mess." "I am too self-centered." "I talk too much." "I never exercise."

These things are lies, depending on the next decision you make, the next Drop of Awesome you put in your bucket. You may have done these things in the past or have a hard time with them, but they don't define you and you can change this very instant. You may not think you can change permanently, but you can change the next choice you make.  And as you change that next tiny choice, in that moment you are the person you want to be and that is a triumph.

You do not need to wait three months to be who you want to be. Pick up ten things right now and say, "Drops of Awesome! I am someone who takes care of my house (or office, or car). That is who I am. I have proof."

It's really about allowing yourself to feel joy and allowing yourself to be pleased with the small victories of life. This builds momentum. You want more drops in your bucket. When you don't get as many, you begin to ask, "What can I do next?" Small. Tiny drops. Go forth. Be Awesome!

Thanksgiving 2012, Revisited

11-22-12 ~ I had a wonderful day today! I think it is a result of feeling especially grateful for so many things this year--my wonderful family and friends; better health on less prednisone than I have been able to do for years; my strong testimony and love for my Savior, Jesus Christ. All these things have especially reminded me that Thanksgiving is so much more than a national holiday romanticizing the relationship between Pilgrims and Native Americans, so much more than an excuse to overeat. Enjoying the company of those we love is so much more important than when, where, and what we will eat to commemorate the day.
Jay and Sara are at Sara's parents in Gastonia, Amanda and Brandon are at Brandon's grandparents in Fayetteville. I stayed home and made a gluten-free pumpkin pie, but then I received a surprise invitation to the Despains for Thanksgiving dinner! They picked me up at 12:30, and I was back homeat 3:45 p.m. I had a lovely time, and took my pumpkin pie with me. After blessing the food, we took turns going around the table to say what we were grateful for this year. The food was delicious, and the company was very nice as well.
Sharon called after I returned home, and I enjoyed talking to her and hearing about her week. She and Sam celebrated Thanksgiving with friends at their house on Tuesday evening this year, and tomorrow [Friday] they are getting together with other friends for a Christmas movie marathon.
Then I called Mom and talked to her and Ruth for a bit. After that, I called Beth--I struck out there, but I think that means Beth felt well enough to travel and they are either at Andy's sister's or his parents for Thanksgiving, so that is another blessing. Anyway, I left her a message, and will see if she returns my call later today or tomorrow.
Now the day is over, but I am not feeling sad nor lonely. I am all full of "warm fuzzies and gratitude!

Pack Rat Confessions

Since right after Christmas, when I began pondering what my New Year's one word theme and supporting goals would be, I have been wading through "stuff". So far, I have found missing hearing aids, 2 pairs of reading glasses, and 3 pairs of scissors that I thought were lost forever, but I haven't found the journaling I did for Thanksgiving 2012, which was supposed to be the subject of today's post. I have been clearing out drawers, cupboards and closets because then I can declutter without things looking "different" (which probably comes close to defeating the point.) If I declutter/downsize too much too fast, I fear I will just fill up the 'holes" again. Therefore, I am trying to apply the "one in, two out" principle, which hopefully won't be too stressful.
But I never thought about the large cd holder that lives right beside my recliner and is full of games that my 8-year old PC is too "new" to play. Those should be easier to let go of... instead, I stop and reminisce about playing the King's Quest series with my kids, back in the day when it was "Mom! Can we PLEASE buy the hint book!! I still can't figure this part out!" Or Myst, which boggled my brain for months. I still have Terratopia, which was a Windows 3.1 point-and-click adventure game that I dearly loved, and played at night when the housework was done, the kids were asleep, and I should have been sleeping or working on my computer science degree. I keep it because I hope someday someone will upgrade it. Meanwhile, the Thanksgiving journaling is in a "safe place" somewhere! Maybe tomorrow I will find it.